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Wednesday, August 5, 2020

The Bi-Racial Conversation



My name is Charlie Hines, I'm married to an Irish German Red Head, and we have two Bi-Racial daughters. They are 20 and 18 years old. During these times I've been trying to share my personal experiences. Not to shame anyone. Not trying to have a pity party for me. I don't deserve one, nor do I want one. Many of my friends are saying "I'm listening", so as long as you still want to hear, I'll keep sharing. 

As a black man, I have been sharing my experiences growing up. Now I am processing current events as a pastor, a black man, a worship leader/songwriter, husband to a white woman, and father of two bi-racial young women. My wife is processing this information as a white woman, teacher/educator, pastor's wife, wife to a black man, and mother of two bi-racial young women. 

I heard a live stream from LL Cool J asking to hear from mixed-race families, black men with non-black wives, or vice versa. He said, "how are you having this conversation in your house?" My initial thoughts were, easily. My family is not defined by our color. While we are all proud of our heritage and history, color makes us one dimensional. 
Then I saw my daughter reading posts from her friends then bursting into tears. Then, what I thought were easy conversations, shut me down in silence.

My girls have the unique opportunity of being both black and white. This is a perspective I am unable to have. The same goes for my wife. My girls see how these events have impacted their black father, and they see how these events have impacted their white mother.  

Meanwhile, my daughters are caught in the middle. They see their black friend's posts and responses and their white friend's posts and responses. Neither side has come to realize that when tearing down white people online or tearing down black people online, my daughters feel attacked by both sides. My oldest daughter said this week through tears, "My friends don't even realize how these comments make me feel." "I feel like I am having to choose which half of me is good or bad, or which half of me is right or wrong. My wife and I sat there stunned and in silence. 

That elevated the conversation to a different place. 
I said don't cry. This is not just a black and white conversation. It is a conversation of the heart. And everyone is tired. Tired of the brokenness in our culture. Tired of the lies. Tired of the racism. Tired of being told who and what to be afraid of. Tired of being told who or what will fix this problem and who will become our next savior. We know who our Savior is, and none of this goes past His eyes unnoticed.

While we look at our broken country, God sees what we've done to it and says. "I can work with that." Drag it all out into the light, expose all of it. All the secrets, all the lies, all the hidden agendas all the crimes, all the failures of leadership, greed, lust, and envy. Then let the restoration begin. I love this country, and I am blessed to be born in it. But don't feel defeated, because the story of this country is still being written. We are just getting started. Don't stop now, keep writing. So in 200 years, our great-grandchildren can look back with pride on what we accomplished when we all found the courage to keep listening, take the blinders off and get to work.

Maybe my daughters will play a vital role in this because they know they are unable to pick a side based on race. They have to actually address the underlying wounds that this generation has been too afraid to pull the band-aids off of.
And hopefully it won't take 200 years.

I'm listening.

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